They sidle up to the barman - a middle aged man - and say, in high pitched voices, in unison: “There’s never - ever - been anything like us,”
They all look at their nails, pause, and continue, making keen eye contact:
"so expect to hear a lot - and we mean a lot - about us from paunchy men. Three drinks, please.”
The bartender turns his head at this news, and slowly transforms into a huge cool demon with black eyes and a crown. It starts heaving and throwing up chewed silicon chips, chicken bones, lifestyle magazines and tweets before thrashing around the bar, cackling and crushing a box of carefully hand-made possessions and trinkets made by a group of spinsterly peasant women huddled under a sign that says “TRADITIONAL VALUES”
Breaking Bad picks up a lone trinket - probably a small charm or necklace - and says: “Jesus, Marie, they’re minerals!” and everyone in the bar laughs so hard that they have brain aneurysms - each one compiled, detailed in “Most Awkward Ischemic Incidents [FAIL] [EPIC]”. The article receives 3 million hits and advertisers use their surplus earnings to invest in poorly designed automatic weapons. Their investments fail and they all collectively write a book; the book does not sell
A cowboy shoots a lame dog wearing a pair of Google glasses and tearfully tells his wife that interest rates are a lot lower than they were/ought to be. His wife, however, is too busy brushing the hair of her sun-bleached, childhood doll that has lost all discernible features with time. She mouths baby-talk and stares through a window.
The moon falls into the sea and people are so confused that they panic-buy all possible food and farmland and eat it rabidly, thus ending human civilization vis-a-vis adult onset diabetes and shallow knife wounds